Sometimes, being a single man has it's benefits.

For example, you get to hog the remote control on a nightly basis, snack when you like and have no problem making plans with your wingmen for a couple of pints of Red Lemonade when you please.

That said, as the weather changes and spring... er... springs into action, those pros can look like cons when it's obvious the love is in the air.

That's why when a Lovely Girl like Caroline from Limerick comes along, you're sorely tempted to become a one woman man, tell the lad's your staying home with the missus for a Desperate Housewives DVD marathon.

Caroline not only is lovelier than a lovely thing on St.Lovely's day, she's also got yards of charm and poetic skill:

"Its crunch time for me and my love life, so I’d love to bag myself Mr.Tayto aka The Stud Spud! Check out that crisp sharp suit, he’s obviously a man of good taste! I could be your Mrs.Tayto, your (Golden) Wonder Woman, I won’t cost you a packet and I haven’t got a chip on my shoulder! We could stay in and be couch potatoes or go out and bop to cheesy tunes. And when the chips are down, I’ll still be at your side. And believe me, our love life would never go stale coz Mr.T's one hot potato!!"

So, Caroline, as the weather changes and the days become warmer and brighter - who knows you just may be the one for me.

This week's Lovely Girl folks, Tayto goodies are whizzing to her as I type.

Cheese, everywhere, this week

I mean, so far, the chat-up lines I've been getting have been eye wateringly savage.

We've had Lovely Girls look at me, laugh and some even look for the nearest exit when I've put some of the wingmen of Ireland's finest to the test.

That's why this weeks winner fills me with equal measure of dread and hope. Andrew Ricci from Malahide gives me this stinker:

'What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?'

Andrew, all I can say is that if the don't fall for this they're obviously immune to high powered cheesiness.

Well done sir, and a box of Tayto is currently be prepared for your enjoyment.

Yes, it's here and over on my Bebo page there's been one or two proposals.

What can I say...

I'm probably a bit old-fashioned in this regard, not that I don't think it's great that Lovely Girls can ask fellas to marry them - more power to them - it's just that if I was to say 'yes' it'd rob me of an experience I'm dying to have.

Droping to one knee.

Taking out a small box.

Asking some lovely girl to marry me.

Just like yer man here.

So sorry girls, today, I'm probably just gonna smile and answer with a 'maybe'.

 

There's obviously something in the water of in County Cork - obviously a county full of charmers, even the Lovely Girls - because this weeks 'Spud Stud' is really a lady.

Sonya Marshal from Cobh sent me through this ripe chat up line that would surely stun a lovely girl or spud stud in there tracks:

'is there an airport around here or is that my heart taking off'

Sometimes you come across something so cheesy it actually brings tears to your eyes.

And coming as it does from my first female wing man I might just use it tonight!

Well done Sonya, box of Tayto goodies are on their way.

If it's one thing I love in a Lovely Girl - apart from a mutual fascination in the workings of Massey Fergusons'  - it's great taste. My blackbook is over flowing with ladies from Dingle to Donegal, but it's good taste that really sets a true Lovely Girl apart from the crowd.

This week's Lovely Girl has good tatse in spades!

Lorraine from Galway is not only easy on the eye but her great taste shines through when she tells me:

'I eat Tayto's every day and cant wait to taste u!!!'                                            

I know, I know!

This is getting really difficult what with girls like Lorraine out there, this spud is getting spoiled for choice.

Here's looking at you Lorraine, Tayto's are on their way! 

I was out with the lads during the week and we were looking through the Cheesy Chat up lines over a bottle of Red Lemonade and a multi pack of Cheese and Onion (or two)and basically wondering how any Lovely Girl in Ireland could say no to any Spud Stud who brings lines like this:

'Your eyes are the same colour as my porsche!'

I mean, come on! Phew!

That's a total winner! And it comes from Karl Mullins from Carlow. Brilliant stuff Karl - I'm getting my people to goody you up!

Keep' em coming lads.

After hanging out with the VIP's and Lovely Girls like Glenda and Kathryn at the IFTA's and the Meteors last week, my social diary looked a little bear this week. And I was glad of it!

Don't get me wrong, being surrounded by the glitz and glamour of the Irish Celebrity social scene is great and all, it's just when the party's over you come home to your bachelor pad realizing that for all the style and red carpet posing you're really just a simple spud, with simple tastes - like watching Lost with a bag of Smokey Bacon. The Lovely Girls of Ireland, continue to fill up my Blackbook and everyday it's getting harder and harder to pick just one from the thousands who've joined in the search.

This weeks winner is Orla 'McCrisp' (her real name?) from Kildare. Orla's such an example of loveliness that I almost jumped in my Monster Truck to get over to Leixlip and get down on one knee.

She tells me:

I am the future Mrs. Tayto as I love and adore both a crisp sandwich and a crisp on its own! I have a great love and appreciation for Mr. Tayto! He is my love connection and yellow is my favourite colour!!

What man could resist such charms!

Goodies have been disptached to you Orla, thanks for joining in.

 

'I'd like to thank the Irish Film and TV academy for this prestigious award. To be be not only the sexiest potato in a leading role for 'Spudfellas', but also the best Spud ever in the entire history of the whole planet, is overwhelming. I'd like to thank Louis Copeland who dressed this Potato and also Sir Walter Raleigh for his incredible help in getting me here'..


Of course, there was no such award. But when you end up in the company of the ever lovely, Kathryn Thomas, you're a winner anyway. But she's wasn't the only VIP this Spud was doing the red carpet shuffle - Miriam O'Callaghan came over to wish me well in my search for a Mrs Tayto (she's soooo lovely), Colm Meaney approached me about working together on a project Bill asked me about doing a stint on 'The Premiership' and even Minister Brennan nabbed me about a future return to politics.   

You can check out the rest of the nights photo's here on my Bebo or if you're into Facebook here.

You may well have noticed over the weekend, that Dublin was invaded by style, glamour and exceptional talent.

 But that's enough about me, there was also a number of awards ceremonies on!!

First stop on my hectic schedule was the Meteor Awards, where I had to spend most of the night running away from the Saw Doctors as they chased me with a huge pot of gravy. Thankfully, Glenda stepped in. Now, before you go out and buy a hat (I know a good place), we're just good friends!

But it wasn't all Lovely Girls, Champers  (I'm a red lemonade man, myself) and air kisses. I got to chew the fat with the... er... 'Boyz' (more like men at this stage) from Boyzone.

All reports of me and Simon joining them for the reunion tour are slightly wrong. I just said we'd send a few multi-packs of Cheese and Onion backstage (with a few sliced pans, of course)

You know, it's not EASI being SINGLE.

Especially, yesterday, on the feast day of love but thanks to my wingman Niall Mullins from Carlow and this dollop of cheese that would make a cow blush, my days of being single are surely numbered...

'Me, Tarzan. You, lucky'

Seriously girls, spend more than a nano second on the company of this SLICE of jungle inspired pongy prose and you'll be weak at the knees, literally!!

And then you may need resuscitation (which will require a visit from Dr. Mr .Tayto - another talent of mine, but I don't like to boast).

Thanks Niall, you really are the cheese!!